We had both started out in alignment, young and in love, supporting each other and equals whilst flourishing in corporate Finance careers, traveling the world and exploring together. Creating a home and stability together. Doing all the things society ‘expects’ you to do. It’s not that those things are wrong or don’t make us happy but it’s just unless you are doing it with conscious awareness of WHY you’re doing it and with whom. Then it’s easy to get lost going through the motions.
I believe we all have a divine right as co creators of our own lives to live an abundant life in whatever form fulfils us. However, I knew that for me the great lifestyle meant nothing to me when I was sharing it with someone I wasn’t in alignment with. I just couldn’t do it.
Pressures of a city job in Finance and the routine client lunches meant he had made a pact with a new lover- alcohol! He was a functional alcoholic.
Where there is addiction involved in any relationship there is distance, avoidance and detachment from true intimacy, he lost himself and in me staying and marrying him…I would have lost myself too! It was a cost too high to pay.